Thursday, February 14, 2008

ONLINE MATRIMONIALS

ONLINE MATRIMONIALS

Indian online matrimonial columns are something When it comes to attitude and language there is no beating them They also reveal a lot about society Wheatish homely convent educated innocent divorcee are terms you find in Indian matrimonial classifieds and carry their own esoteric meanings. To begin with are brides wanted and grooms wanted really derogatory terms treating love as commodity in the marriage market governed by the economic principles of demand and supply But many people like Swapan Mukherjee Sociologist by profession disagrees Brides Wanted and Grooms Wanted are not derogatory terms They signify the need of the advertiser and classify the requirement in specific columns asian bride,bride and groom,india matrimonial,kerala matrimonial,marriage,matrimonial sites,matrimonials,muslim matrimonial,punjabi matrimonial.,shaadi,tamil matrimonial,
telugu matrimonial In support Psychologist Chrisann Almeida states Marriage is deemed essential for virtually everyone in India so the term wanted actually reflects an almost dire need so I don t think it s derogatory as such I am disheartened about the lack of romance but this is the reality of things in India
Indian Matrimonial advertisements have not shown much change over the years Ever since the 50s almost everyone wanted to marry a fair girl and the groom had to be financially established and from a so called respectable family Though most families were quite particular as far as caste and even gotra was considered even in 1947 there were advertisements in which caste community and religion were no bar Divorces were quite unheard of in 1947 but there were grooms from liberal families quite open to the idea of marrying a widow However over the years more importance has been paid to a girl s professional and academic background When India just got independent it would generally suffice if the girl was just a matriculate and even 16 year olds were considered old enough for marriage Dowry hadn t been made a crime so it was asked for openly in print Browsing through Indian matrimonial classifieds which appeared in the Amrita Bazar Patrika in 1947 one comes across lines like preference to party willing to bear groom s foreign studies expenses or reasonable liberal dowry There were a few cases in which no dowry was asked for or the bride s father boldly refused to pay dowry A nationalistic father had advertised in the year of the Indian Independence for his daughter s marriage stating unable to pay adequate dowry according to modern foppish standards
A glance at contemporary Indian matrimonial classifieds reveals words like beautiful professionally qualified respectable family caring etc this may lead one to wonder are all those who are advertising themselves as good looking virtuous and from well to do families as claimed in print If it was really so why don t we see as many gorgeous looking people with great jobs all around us in everyday life Why doesn t humility ever feature in matrimonial classifieds
The above just proves matrimonial advertising is very simply either about selling yourself or sourcing a suitable mate so you go the whole hog and sell yourself as hard as you can Ever heard of any manufacturer underselling his product or service.Are you in a long term relationship and in favor of getting married one day Are you currently engaged and anxiously awaiting the moment that you will walk down the aisle Are you a newlywed basking in your honeymoon bliss If you can answer yes to any one of these questions then this article was written just for you The purpose of this editorial is to communicate the differences between a marriage and a wedding ceremony As obvious as this may seem there are millions of people who have not mastered this concept
The idea of getting married is favorable However marriage far exceeds the work that it takes to plan a fairytale wedding A major mistake that men and women make is confusing the wedding with the marriage Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman who have vowed to spend the rest of their lives with each other According to those joined in Holy Matrimony a marriage is supposed to last until death do you part A wedding ceremony on the other hand is an event that commemorates the marriage between a husband and a wife It can lasts anywhere from 15 minutes to a few hours Ironically some people spend more time and money on investing in a fairytale wedding than they do on investing in the marriage itself Anyone who has had experience with being married knows that marriage is a full time job At no point in time can you choose to go on vacation from being married without running the risk of losing your spouse
A wedding ceremony is a wonderful notion In fact the planning phase of a wedding can draw a couple closer together Making the decision on what type of flowers to use or picking out the perfect wedding favors can be exciting There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a fairytale wedding The key to having a fairytale wedding is to allow your marriage to reflect what you vowed during the wedding ceremony The divorce rate might not be as high if more people could grasp this concept
For those of you who would like to get married or are in the process of getting married hopefully you will be encouraged to plan your dream wedding along with taking the time to invest in your marriage The best way to approach marriage is by learning how to be successful at being married Premarital counseling is an effective way to educate couples in this area As for the newlyweds who have already experienced the joy of walking down the aisle continue to reflect on that special moment but work hard to make your marriage last forever You can empower your marriage by reading books attending seminars or going to counseling Knowing the differences between a wedding and a marriage is a great start to a happily ever after
Ways to Save a Marriage
The statistics on divorce have become so disconcerting that it has become a major assignment for many couples to seek ways to save a marriage Help cannot come quickly enough for a man and wife whose marriage is in trouble
Those who aren t facing marital issues may wonder why so many couples are rushing to find ways to repair a marriage in trouble But for those facing a marriage on the brink of divorce one look at the gloomy statistics and they d understand why It has been shown that half of all first marriages end in divorce What is even more alarming is that the divorce rate among remarriages is seventy five percent One would think that partners who have tried and failed in the past would bring more wisdom to the second or more marriage
So it is no surprise that an entire industry has cropped up providing ways to save a marriage Recognition is often the first step to solving a problem so acknowledging the high failure rate of marriage and keeping couples alert to the potential pitfalls hopefully more will reach out and seek ways to repair a marriage in trouble
Couples need to realize that simply being in love and taking wedding vows does not guarantee marital bliss A marriage takes work and constant attention So rather than being afraid of the divorce statistics better to learn from them and realize that a relationship requires effort There is a lot of compromise involved when deciding to share your life with another person and it shouldn t be taken lightly
One unfortunate trend in society today is the ease with which couples give up Some no longer consider marriage a lifelong commitment and may not put in the effort to find ways to save a marriage Many couples jump ship at the first sign of stress in the marriage instead of staying the course and working to resolve problems It has become all to easy and common to just bail out
Divorce today doesn t carry the same stigma as in earlier generations It is handled easily by the courts and may simply be a signature on paper to signify this glorified break up In generations past the concept of holy matrimony was well holy It was a major emotional loss to suffer the break up of one s marriage
Nevertheless couples today really should stay alert to pending problems and try their best to resolve potential conflicts as swiftly as possible to avoid an unpleasant split
Sadly there are many couples who wish to repair their marriage yet do not have a clue how to go about it If they try to tackle issues themselves without tips guidelines or even professional help they may actually do more damage in their feeble attempt to save their relationship
Luckily with so many people facing marriage problems there has been a glut of information and professional help for couples who need to find ways to save a marriage This includes counseling and other credible and professional sources of information which can prove to be helpful

ARRANGED MARRIAGES

An arranged marriage is a form of marriage which is arranged by the parents of the couple being married These marriages can also be arranged based on recommendations of friends and family This form of marriage is also convenient for those who have been unable to find a suitable match on their own Some parents may consider the choice of the children before making or accepting a proposal while some may impose their choices on their children The modern arranged marriages are informally arranged The parents compile all the personal details of their child that includes hobbies interests educational and family background and a photograph This information is supplied to marriage bureaus or is sent in response to matrimonial ads A meeting is arranged between the couple and in most cases courting is also permitted Arranged marriages are quite common in several countries such as India Afghanistan Japan Iraq and Iran Instances of arranged marriages are also found frequently in North America that has varied cultures
The latest trend in arranged marriages is selecting a suitable spouse through the Internet Individuals submit their profile on various matrimonial websites to find an appropriate match They may get in touch with that person on the phone or through email to develop a cordial relationship Arranged marriage is a convenient form of marriage as it is based on religious educational and financial compatibility Parents are usually happy as the marriage bears their seal of approval Many parents arrange a marriage as a business strategy to grow and expand their business Property matters can be a very influential factor in arranged marriages However these marriages may fail as the relationship is need based and most people have accepted this option only because they failed in love or were unable to find the love of their life on their own

MARRIAGES

KERALA MARRIAGES

Kettukalyanam was the practice among Nayars also Kshatriyas Ezhavas Arayas pulayas and even certain tribes to conduct ritual marriages of their daughters usually several girls of different age groups belonging to a tarawad had their marriage conducted in the same place and on the same occasion The adult males married the girls Some times one adult married several women In some cases the bridegroom belonged to the Kshatriyas or Aryapattan or Elayatu communities lower status sub castes among Nambootiris He also acted as the priest He tied a sacramental thread around the neck of the bride Then the brother of the child bride carried her on his shoulders to a decorated pandal a thatched shed improvised for the occasion in the front courtyard of the house The bride would be in her wedding shawl mandrakodi which covers her face as a veil After the wedding is performed by tying the thread the priest bridegroom washes his hands an act which symbolises his severance of all relationship with the girl whom he had just initiated into wedlock The real marriage of the girl has yet to take place after she attains puberty But for a girl to attain puberty before she had her Kettukalyanam among Nayars Kshatriyas Tiyyas is very expensive elaborate and festive than the real marriage ceremonies The ritual marriage ceremony would be concluded by sumptuous feasts for four days consecutively in which friends and relatives would participate On the fourth day the women of the village took a ceremonial bath along with the girl and returned to her home to make merry and rejoice with dances and songs FOR HINDU Marriage is the attempted union of two different families rather than the union of two individuals Social status financial security and a host of other things are take into consideration while searching for prospective matches It is assumed that when the horoscopes foretell compatibility things will progress smoothly The young people get a chance to see each other But in most cases what makes the marriage work is the trouble shooting done by the parents After the prospective horoscopes are matched nakshatra porutham matching of the stars by the astrologer an auspicious day and time is fixed

TELUGU MARRIAGES

Comprising the twin cities of Hyderabad and Secunderabad Hyderabad is the Capital of Andhra Pradesh It is famous as the center of the fabulously wealthy Nizams of Hyderabad Andhra Pradesh is known as the Cyber State of India Andhra Pradesh has a rich and varied cultural heritage The customs rituals traditions and conventions are unique to the state It has hordes of treasures in the form of artistic dance forms theatre performances different local festivals etc Andhrites are progressive minded hardworking people who have their roots entrenched deep in culture The royal influence of the state lends a colorful aura to its people and their affairs And wedding is no exception Andhra weddings are as zany and glitzy as the palace of Nizam and IT industry blooming in Hyderabad Telugus marry within their community only A Brahmin would marry off his daughter to a Brahmin only Match between Brahmin and non Brahmin is not generally made unless the girl or the boy is exceptional Matches are tried to be made by word of mouth among known people If it doesn t work only then advertisement in the newspapers are given The dress code for the bride is a saree mostly a red one or any other similar bright color She would gold and pearl jewellery Pearl is exceptional as it is a Hyderabadi specialty The bride would also wear flowers in hair The Telugu marriage ceremony is striking as well as fabulous It has the girl s mama or the maternal uncle carrying the bride in a bamboo basket to the mandap The bride is well adorned in a bright coloured saree and precious jewellery As per custom the girl would carry some betel leaves betel nuts a coconut a sandalwood stick and a red pumpkin The procedure of the marriage is such that a curtain is placed between the bride and groom so that they do not see each other till the wedding is completed

INDIAN WEDDINGS

Wedding is an important stage in the life of every person This is the time when two people agree to share their sorrow and joys with one another for the rest of their life Marriages are said to be the God s gift of a partner to humans to spend their life happily Leading a happy and satisfied married life is one of the things which the people expect from their lives One of the countries of the world where a great deal of importance is paid to the rituals and customs associated with the event of marriage is India The wedding customs in India vary from one place in the country to another India is known worldwide for its diversity and richness in culture It is one of the very few countries where modernity and tradition form a perfect blend In fact these paradoxes attached to this land have only added to its beauty and splendour The importance of wedding in India lies in the fact that Indians have a strong belief in the institution of marriage So wedding here is one of the most significant and celebrated occasions Another factor that makes Indian weddings so fascinating is the variety that is witnessed in the weddings of different regions and religions of the country It is a true representation of the diverse nature of the land People in different places celebrate this auspicious occasion according to their own rituals and customs Large number of religions exist in India and they all live harmoniously Also people in different states have their own customs for marriage like south Indian marriages and traditions are different from a wedding in northern India or a Gujarati wedding can be different from the Oriya wedding Along with the difference in the customs and the proceedings variety can be witnessed in the Indian bridal wedding dress which can be anything from the wedding sari to a traditional lehenga Also the wedding decoration may vary to suit the diverse requirements and desires of different people The decoration also depends on the wedding venues in India and venue being such an important factor there is no dearth of exotic venues in India Wedings are performed in temples churches or even at big halls specially decorated for the occasion Brides and Grooms are tied up to live together through a special ceremony as provided by each religion which is known as wedding or marriages An important aspect of Indian wedding is the wedding invitations and wedding cards which are lately given a lot of importance Like many other cultures the Indian wedding ring this has a very important place and because rings are generally exchanged at the time of engagement it is often called the engagement ring So weddings in India are a very important occasion and are characterised by exuberance and splendour Other than the above mentioned classifications people in India have the freedom to follow any customs and rituals in their weddings and no body is bound under any obligations thus representing the true character of the country People from different countries visit India and marry beautiful ladies here They are attracted towards our country because of the high cultural values that exist here which increase the matrimonial value There are lot of matrimonial services which can be said to be the most wanted in all countries We can try to know about Marriages conducted in Indian States through which brides and grooms are selected by arranged or love arrangedlove marriages

MATRIMONIAL

In the cyber era a conventional advertisement in the matrimonial classifieds section of a newspaper is no longer enough to find your dream mate Instead if you want to hear wedding bells ring replace cupid s arrow with your cursor and voila You have a match made in cyberspace The Net is no longer regarded with suspicion as a meeting and dating avenue but is more serious committed and thousands of people are tying the knot thanks to the new matchmakers in town matrimonial portals
And it is not just busy professionals who are e mailing or chatting with prospective spouses on the net but parents are also putting up the profiles of eligible sons and daughters on these portals So what makes online matrimony click better than conventional avenues of finding your match Well here are a few
The key advantage in these matrimonial websites is that they can be accessed 24x7 that too from any corner of the world Unlike a newspaper classified your advertisement does not get restricted to a specific region So you can contact any person from Chandigarh to CanadaThis is the medium of immediate results You can create your profile talk at length about yourself your family and hobbies each profile gets an entire page create your photo album and start receiving proposals instantly
Ease of communication is another reason why the net is an ideal medium for matrimony Unlike the print medium you do not have to wait interminably for proposals to come in but at a nominal fee can contact prospective matches via e mail and chat And the response time is also faster than waiting for the postman to ring your doorbell
You can streamline your search according to your own preferences contact the person you like accept or decline their proposals on your own terms And if you are shy to contact anyone then don t worry people who like your profile will certainly send you proposals
You can control your privacy level by filtering out the people whom you don t want to contact and even from whom you don t want to receive contacts Also you can contact or chat with a person without disclosing your details
Last but not the least the net is the perfect medium for people who shy away from an arranged marriage but have yet not found the love of their lives The net helps them to get to know their prospective spouses better even before the conventional meeting is arranged over teaAll this cannot be availed through an offline medium i e through a newspaper classified or a marriage bureau where the reach of the medium is limited and one has to pay even before understanding the pros and cons of that medium The advertisement will be of a few column centimeters and may not even catch anybody s attention You would also need to do some paper work in order to maintain a list of the people contacted

For those of you that don t know what a matrimonial profile is it is a profile created in hopes of finding a marriage partner Not a dating partner like most of the normal dating profiles
Many Indians use matrimonial profiles in lieu of getting an arranged marriage Many of the youths of India are starting to want more control over who they marry and are not shy in finding it themselves
The timetables for getting married varies across the board Some people join to have a rush marriage Others join to get to know friends and hope to have a click with one of them
Others are looking pretty seriously but do not even have intentions to marry for another 2 3 years It is generally understood that it takes time to find a love partner Probably about the average person would take about a year to find someone that they click with and love

Contacts are very brief and you can be expected to be in touch with a large number of people Sometimes you will exchange a few emails or phone calls and end the contact with each other instantly The reason for it is because the seriousness of the site A small difference in philosophy is enough to stop two people from talking Indian Matrimonial Sites have been around for a long time but have gained popularity only of late Their main function is to allow individuals or their parents to create a free profile for the intended groom or bride and wait for prospective responses Traditionally in the Indian culture this was accomplished through news paper adds but now with the coming of the internet a lot of sites have cropped up catering to this market These sites have taken on a dual purpose for Single Indians and their parents Lets first take a look at how the person looking for match for him or herself views it They post their add on one or more of these sites with the aim of meeting and dating quite a few people before they decide on who they want to settle down with The parents use in its traditional capacity which is to find matches for their son or daughter and then make a final selection very shortly after that The dating and getting to know aspect is totally ignored by the parents and is supposed only take place after the couple has taken the final plunge The interesting thing about this whole process how the Indian youth of today are trying to satisfy their own modern views of dating and at the same time keep their traditionally minded parents at bay as well as pacified How do they do this by informing their parents that they have joined a matrimonial site and are actively looking for a suitable mate for themselves They in fact are dating quite a few people an option that their parents would not usually tolerate In essence they are getting the best of both worlds The internet has been a god send for the Indian Youth of today The wedding is one of society s most valued traditions one that is honored worldwide and more so in India However in the present scenario while the quest for a prospective companion is getting increasingly demanding the time that is allotted towards searching for that perfect person has reduced to a great bit owing to those in the eligible age category focusing strictly on building their careers There was a time in the past when the bride and groom were pre requisites for any marriage The other paraphernalia surrounding marriage was decided only after this all important decision had been made However given the time constraints nowadays the bride and groom are probably the last things to be zeroed in on while the clothes jewellery venue etc are all sourced much before And that at present is the biggest dilemma of Indian Weddings To counter the obstacle posed by limited time Indian Matrimonial industry has gone through a revamp and the picture of a marriage broker with a huge diary tucked in with photographs has slowly phased out The latent need for a medium that would transcend spatial and geographical limitations has led to the rise of the Online Matrimonial Industry Shaadi com was the first company of its kind in this line of business and has been around for 10 years now Today the site enjoys the first mover advantage not just in terms of brand recognition and acceptability but also in terms of brand presence
What these online sites do is allow you to search for your perfect one from the comfort of your home and at a time convenient to you thus doing away with time spent on visiting relatives or prospective relatives homes to find an interesting match
In today s day and age convenience is the key word Online India Matrimonials site have successfully brought better matches better searches better tools and greater ease of use to users in their own homes and at their respective time
Shaadi com has tools like Shaadi com Messenger AstroSoulmate Search Shaadi Toolbar etc which have enabled it to today boast of over 10 million members and 300 million page views per month and over 8 01 764 successful marriages
The wedding industry in India is huge and has great potential however challenges like limited infrastructure and a largely unorganized market have limited the growth rate of this colorful and joyous industry
Yet changing trends seem to be indicating a positive future with the non conventional matchmaking mediums gaining wider acceptance
Also the basic mentality and approach towards these mediums is transforming Individuals no longer look upon arranged marriage mediums as the last resort to finding your partner rather matrimonial websites are now considered as a favored means of conveniently getting the kind of person that you have always wanted

Wednesday, April 6, 2005

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